Revising for Cohesion

Question 1

Draft: 'Lea told Mira that her essay needed a clearer thesis.' Which revision fixes the unclear pronoun reference?

Accepted Answer

Lea told Mira that Mira's essay needed a clearer thesis.

Answer

Lea told Mira that she needed a clearer thesis.

Answer

Lea told her that Mira's essay needed a clearer thesis.

Answer

She told Mira that her essay needed a clearer thesis.

Question 2

Draft: 'The survey covered 200 students. Only 40 returned the form.' Which revision joins the sentences without changing the meaning?

Accepted Answer

The survey covered 200 students, but only 40 returned the form.

Answer

The survey covered 200 students, so only 40 returned the form.

Answer

Because the survey covered 200 students, only 40 returned the form.

Answer

The survey covered 200 students, and 40 more returned the form.

Question 3

Draft: 'The club plans to raise funds, to recruit members, and improving its website.' Which revision repairs the abrupt shift in construction?

Accepted Answer

The club plans to raise funds, to recruit members, and to improve its website.

Answer

The club plans to raise funds, to recruit members, and it improves its website.

Answer

The club plans to raise funds, to recruit members, and improvement of its website.

Answer

The club plans to raise funds, to recruit members, and its website is improving.

Question 4

Draft: 'A student should keep a reading log. You will notice patterns in your habits.' Which revision repairs the abrupt shift in person?

Accepted Answer

Students should keep a reading log. They will notice patterns in their habits.

Answer

You should keep a reading log. A student will notice patterns in your habits.

Answer

A student should keep a reading log. One notices patterns in your habits.

Answer

A student should keep a reading log. We will notice patterns in our habits.

Question 5

Draft: 'Ana opened the folder and checks the last page.' Which revision repairs the shift in tense?

Accepted Answer

Ana opened the folder and checked the last page.

Answer

Ana opens the folder and checked the last page.

Answer

Ana had opened the folder and checks the last page.

Answer

Ana opened the folder and is checking the last page.

Question 6

A formal report reads: 'The results were kind of okay, though the sample was small.' Which revision fixes the diction without changing the meaning?

Accepted Answer

The results were acceptable, though the sample was small.

Answer

The results were excellent, though the sample was small.

Answer

The results were poor, though the sample was small.

Answer

The results were pretty good, though the sample was small.

Question 7

Draft: 'The road was flooded. ___ the team reached the school on time.' Which word keeps the connection between the two sentences?

Accepted Answer

Nevertheless

Answer

Therefore

Answer

Similarly

Answer

Meanwhile

Question 8

Draft: 'Mr. Cruz filed the report. Mr. Cruz then emailed the report to the office.' Which revision improves cohesion without changing the meaning?

Accepted Answer

Mr. Cruz filed the report and then emailed it to the office.

Answer

Mr. Cruz filed the report, and he emailed a report to the office.

Answer

He filed the report, and Mr. Cruz emailed it to the office.

Answer

Mr. Cruz filed the report; the report was emailed to the office.

Question 9

Paragraph: '(1) Our canteen wastes food daily. (2) Leftovers fill two bins. (3) The new gym opens in June. (4) A donation plan could cut the waste.' Which sentence breaks the coherence?

Accepted Answer

Sentence 3

Answer

Sentence 1

Answer

Sentence 2

Answer

Sentence 4

Question 10

Draft: 'The class missed two deadlines and lost its meeting room. This hurt morale.' Which revision of the second sentence fixes the unclear reference?

Accepted Answer

These setbacks hurt morale.

Answer

It hurt morale.

Answer

That really hurt morale.

Answer

This hurt their morale.

Question 11

Draft: 'The rain stopped. The parade continued.' Which revision links the sentences and keeps the original meaning?

Accepted Answer

After the rain stopped, the parade continued.

Answer

Although the rain stopped, the parade continued.

Answer

Before the rain stopped, the parade continued.

Answer

Unless the rain stopped, the parade continued.

Question 12

A school memo reads: 'Attendance will be checked daily. Don't be a no-show, guys.' Which revision keeps the style consistent?

Accepted Answer

Please arrive before the bell each day.

Answer

Don't be late, guys, or you're in trouble.

Answer

No-shows will be dealt with, folks, so watch out.

Answer

You had better show up on time from now on.

Question 13

Draft: 'Coral reefs shelter young fish. These underwater gardens also block strong waves.' How does the second sentence connect to the first?

Accepted Answer

It renames coral reefs with a related phrase.

Answer

It contrasts coral reefs with the young fish.

Answer

It gives a number that measures the reefs.

Answer

It repeats the first sentence in shorter form.

Question 14

Draft: 'Prices rose. Sales stayed the same.' Which revision changes the meaning of the draft?

Accepted Answer

Prices rose because sales stayed the same.

Answer

Prices rose, yet sales stayed the same.

Answer

Although prices rose, sales stayed the same.

Answer

Prices rose, but sales stayed the same.

Question 15

Draft: 'Walking to school, the heavy bag hurt Rico's shoulder.' Which revision repairs the unclear connection?

Accepted Answer

As Rico walked to school, the heavy bag hurt his shoulder.

Answer

Walking to school, Rico's shoulder hurt from the heavy bag.

Answer

The heavy bag hurt Rico's shoulder, walking to school.

Answer

Rico's shoulder, walking to school, hurt from the heavy bag.

Question 16

Draft: 'She had studied for weeks. Nadia still felt nervous before the test.' Which revision repairs the reference?

Accepted Answer

Nadia had studied for weeks. She still felt nervous before the test.

Answer

She had studied for weeks, but Nadia still felt nervous then.

Answer

She, Nadia, had studied for weeks and still felt nervous then.

Answer

Studying for weeks, she still felt nervous before the test.

Question 17

Replacing a repeated noun with a pronoun improves cohesion only if the reader can still tell what the pronoun refers to.

Accepted Answer

True

Answer

False

Question 18

Draft: 'The final conclusion of the report repeats again the same main point.' Which revision removes the repetition without changing the meaning?

Accepted Answer

The conclusion of the report repeats the main point.

Answer

The final conclusion of the report repeats the point again.

Answer

The report's final conclusion repeats the same point again.

Answer

The conclusion of the report adds a different main point.

Question 19

Draft: 'Our school garden needs water during summer. Volunteers cannot come daily.' Which sentence best continues the paragraph?

Accepted Answer

A simple drip system could water the plants while volunteers are away.

Answer

Many students enjoy planting flowers during the rainy season each year.

Answer

The garden club was formed three years ago by two science teachers.

Answer

Summer classes will be held in the covered court again this year.

Question 20

Draft: 'First, sort the papers. Then the papers should be labeled by date.' Which revision keeps the style consistent?

Accepted Answer

First, sort the papers. Then label them by date.

Answer

First, the papers are sorted. Then label them by date.

Answer

First, sort the papers. Then the labeling is done by date.

Answer

First, you sort the papers. Then the papers should be labeled.

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Revising for Cohesion

Ways to Play

Device Games: Students play on their phones

Blast Go

Board Games: Teacher-led, projected to the class

Like what you see?

Zombie Escape

Avalanche

Maze Blast

Cave Climb

Blast Out

Mystery Auction

Tour Guide

Food Truck Rush

Tug of War

Bug Blast

Alien Blast

Glacier Rush

BlastRace

BlastQuiz

BlastBoard

Seek & Destroy

Mystery Blast

Checkers

Texas Hold 'Em

Da Bomb

Castle Siege

Hot Potato

Market Mayhem

King of the Hill

Bank Heist

Top Corner

Revising for Cohesion

Ways to Play

Device Games: Students play on their phones

Blast Go

Board Games: Teacher-led, projected to the class

Like what you see?

More like this

Zombie Escape

Avalanche

Maze Blast

Cave Climb

Blast Out

Mystery Auction

Tour Guide

Food Truck Rush

Tug of War

Bug Blast

Alien Blast

Glacier Rush

BlastRace

BlastQuiz

BlastBoard

Seek & Destroy

Mystery Blast

Checkers

Texas Hold 'Em

Da Bomb

Castle Siege

Hot Potato

Market Mayhem

King of the Hill

Bank Heist

Top Corner